I’m not the kind of person you remember. I guess I tend to fall between cracks and fit into small spaces. I can remember ever since I was little how I was always being told I was the smallest so I had to sit certain places or because I was small I couldn’t do certain things. Even though I’m old enough to have a voice, and to use it, sometimes I find myself falling into that habit of getting pushed to the side. I tend to watch life happen sometimes. sometimes I just watch people for the longest time, and they never notice. it’s funny, watching people. if you do it right, with little glances, they never even notice how you’re watching their every move. they don’t know that you saw them laugh at the joke no one else found funny. they don’t know that you saw their smile drop when someone they love looked anothers way. they don’t know because they don’t watch. I watch though. I watch people. maybe because i’m mostly quiet. maybe because it takes too much work to be the one watched. I guess I tend to be forgettable. I can’t count how many times people have forgotten my name. I still get placed into that “smallest”, “weakest” category by people close to me, and I still hate it. I still hate that the world pushes stereotypes on us and how the people who are supposed to encourage you are so often the ones who cause you the greatest amount of uncertainty. I’ve let myself be placed on back-burners of peoples lives because it’s easier than fighting. easier for them. harder for me. I guess i’m not the kind of person you think about. the kind of person that gets much thought. and i’m used to that, it’s just how it’s always been. but sometimes, on the rare occasions when I find that someone has remembered me... remembered a little detail about me, remembered something I love, remembered to pray for me, remembered me when there was nothing to remember... those moments make me to purely and completely happy. because it feels beautiful and it feels right to be remembered. because remembering means being cared for. forgetting means you’re not important. and i’m not going to be unimportant anymore. I am not going to be forgettable. and if someone wants to forget me, then they’re not someone who will have ever cared anyway. I’m better off with a few who will remember than many who will never fail to forget. I’m not the kind of person you remember, but I must remember, some will never forget.